Impulses
by McCrazy for McDreamy
Summary: For Gemelli22's Stage Door challenge. Jesse just wishes he could go home and sleep. For once he wants to by pass the stage door but he loves his ego too much for that. Sometimes things work out better if you just trust your impulses.


**Impulses**

**Summary: For Gemelli22's Stage Door challenge. Jesse just wishes he could go home and sleep. For once he wants to by pass the stage door but he loves his ego too much for that. Sometimes things work out better if you just trust your impulses.**

**AN: Yes I know I should be writing a chapter of **_**I'll Be Your Anchor **_**but I'm suffering from a case of writers block so I wrote this to clear my head, let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Glee**_** or any musical or song referenced yada yada yada…**

After I had removed my stage make up and changed out of my costume, I ran a hand through my hair overly gelled hair and sighed. Now it was time to go and face the crowd of fans at the stage door. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated each and every one of them and their support boosted my already inflated ego but I was tired. I could feel a cold coming on and I just wanted to grab a cup of herbal tea, take some Echinacea and climb into bed. However, I knew as I descended the stairs that being Jesse St. James, I would never pass adoring fans. I really was a sucker for praise and general ego stroking. Also, I would never disrespect someone who came around to the stage door after the show and waited to see me or any of my cast mates. They had made the effort to come and see us, they all had waited outside while the actor or actors they were waiting for changed and at the very least they deserved respect.

So when I arrived outside I made polite conversation with the crowd of adoring fans, signed autographs, took pictures and just generally basked in the praise and compliments that I was being given. I loved my fans, even if my being with them had made my oncoming cold worse. After a while the crowd began to disperse, I checked my watch, it was eleven thirty. I held back a yawn and looked around, that was when I saw her. She looked stunning in her heavy, black winter coat, dark jeans and a thick grey scarf. I walked towards her.

"I didn't expect to have a performer of your calibre at my show," I said, smirking at her.

"I'd like to remind you Mr. St. James that it isn't just _your_ show, you may play Tony in _West Side Story_ but there are other actors." I sniggered, she was so cute. At about five foot two she made me feel insanely tall. "Oh and by the way you were flat at the end of _Something's Coming_. After that comment I had a bit of a problem seeing her as cute.

"I was not," I countered, criticism tended to make defensive. My brows were furrowed to the point where I knew if I held them there for four of five more minutes my muscles would begin to ache.

"You were Mr. St. James, you know it and I know it, your show face slipped towards the end. I could see that you could hear it too. As performers we should be honest with each other, we're showered in praise all day so I feel the need to give my fellow performers constructive criticism where it's due. At the end of the day, they might not like it but I'm helping them to grow and I hope that they'd do the same for me." She had me there, I had heard a few bum notes in the song, I wasn't aware my show face had slipped though. To an extent I was glad she was being honest with me but at the same time her criticism wasn't exactly fuelling my ego. I was fairly sure the slightly stunned expression on my face was confirmation that I agreed with her.

"Your right," I said. I decided to change the subject; a cold was bad enough without being accompanied by a bruised ego. "I saw you in _Gypsy_ a few months back, you make a great June but in the spirit of returning the criticism there were times though, when I felt you lacked emotional depth." I looked at her; she was glaring at me as if I had just killed her puppy.

"I did not lack emotional depth!" she replied indignantly. I snickered again; she was absolutely adorable when she was angry. Her cheeks were red, her eyebrows were knitted together and her gaze was still making me feel uncomfortable. I did not flinch away from her stare however, I was Jesse St. James and I was cool, calm, collected and arrogant.

"What's with the double standard?" I asked, trying to suppress my laughter, she just looked so hilarious and utterly endearing. "So you're allowed to tell me what I'm doing wrong but I'm not allowed to criticise little miss perfect. That's a little unfair don't ya think?"

"I suppose so," she replied grudgingly, "but your comment wasn't exactly constructive-"

"Well neither was yours! But you didn't even give me a chance to finish; I was going to tell you that you have an amazing voice."

"Oh well, thanks then, you were great by the way. I didn't really want to come but my friend bought the ticket for me for my birthday and I didn't want to waste it. I was certain that the ensemble in this revival were going to butcher one of my favourite musicals. And you almost did but not quite because every time you came on stage it just, well…" I was impressed; I had reduced the notoriously verbose Rachel Berry to silence.

"Cat got your tongue?" I asked.

"You're really talented Mr. St. James." That made me smile; maybe my ego wouldn't be so bruised after all.

"You can call me Jesse, Rachel."

"Okay then Jesse," she replied grinning widely. All of a sudden I had an urge to just lean in and kiss her; I had no idea where it had come out of. I restrained myself, kissing someone I barely knew would not be a good idea. I liked Rachel; I wanted to be friends with her and I didn't want to screw that possibility up by giving in to my impulses.

"You want to go for a coffee?" I asked. I saw her frown again and move her feet awkwardly.

"Jesse, I have a boyfriend." That last comment had knocked the wind out of my sails; it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. The girl I liked was taken. Of course she would be; she was Rachel Berry. She was a Broadway legend; she'd been on Broadway since the age of six and had played roles in everything from _Les Miserables_ to _Whistle Down the Wind_. I forced my expression to stay fixed in my trade mark smirk and tried to scramble together a response. I tried not to let it show how much of a blow to my ego her response had been.

I laughed, I could hear that it sounded slightly forced. I just prayed that she wouldn't notice it. "I meant as friends Rachel."

"Look Jesse its late, you have a show tomorrow night and I have rehearsals tomorrow morning, I think it's best if we just, ya know, go home." I frowned, rejection was hard and I didn't want her to leave.

"Rehearsals?" I replied quizzically. I wasn't too worried about the answer; I just wanted to keep her here opposite me for as long as possible. I knew that I'd feel empty when she left, I was aware that her leaving was inevitability, I just wanted to prolong our meeting.

"I finished my run of _Gypsy_ a month and a half ago and now I'm rehearsing for a Broadway revival of _Les Miserables_, I playing Éponine but that's not the point Jesse-" I decided to give into my impulses and kiss her, she didn't respond at first but it didn't take long before she too gave in to what she wanted. She snaked her arms around my neck and threaded her fingers threw my hair. I pulled her closer to me and wound my arms around her waist. After a minute or too she pulled away and I was glad of the chance to breath. I knew I was wearing my goofy, lopsided grin but I didn't care how stupid I looked. I had just kissed Rachel freakin' Berry and I felt amazing.

"Jesse we shouldn't have done that," Rachel said after she had regained composure. "I have a boyfriend; oh goodness what am I going to tell Finn. He's going to hate me for this; he's so good and look how I've repaid-" I cut her off with a kiss again and get again she gave into me. I knew what her heart needed; I just had to get it into her pretty little head that her brain wanted too. We pulled away after another two or three minutes.

"Jesse!"

"I think maybe you'd be better off doing a little less talking and a little more of this," I said before kissing her hungrily once again.

"What about Finn?" Rachel asked gazing into my eyes. I frowned; I didn't want to hear about her boyfriend.

"Well watching the _Wizard of Oz_ would tell you to 'follow the yellow brick road' but I personally, would always tell you to follow your heart."

"Okay," she said quietly before pulling my head down to initiate yet another kiss. At that moment I found myself thanking my impulses, maybe they weren't all bad.

**AN: A penny for your thoughts? **

**Reviews = happy Jonathan Groff and a good episode of **_**Glee**_** tonight so review!**


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